My moment of reckoning approaches
My fate draws nearer and nearer to me each day
I am overwhelmed by it, obsessed with it
It is all I can think about
For years I have waited
Waited patiently in my fathers house
The house of my father, that is without a father
Without a mother too
Each day I sit at the table where he was slain
Slain by my mother in front of my eyes
And I wait in anticipation
In elation for the day that my destiny will finally be fulfilled
For the day when retribution will at last balance the scales
When I will be able to finally let go of this
When I will be able to finally morn for the father I have lost
And the mother chose also to be lost
Each day I wake to the desire to vengeance
And each night I fall asleep with that desire yet to be fulfilled
My hunger consumes me
Has consumed me forever
Yet here I am being held in the arms of the spirits
I can feel the weight of the axe in my hand
I have enacted this every night in my bed
And they will not let me complete the act
This has been my life
My whole life
This vengeance
This blood
What is there without it?
Who am I with out this?
Where do I belong?
Where do I turn to?
Suddenly I am overwhelmed
They, these spirits have broken me
Broken me to the core
And everything messily comes spilling out
I am uncontained
The grief the pain is uncontainable
And they comfort me
hold me like a child
They have brought me to forgiveness
Not like leading a lamb to a calm stream
Rather like fighting a terrifying dragon
A monster from within
It is not as they say
A sudden weight lifted
It is painful
It is a battle that rages on inside forever
